Miracles

Well today my husband and I had our semi quarterly argument about money in which I am the irresponsible flibbertigibbet and he is the maligned self-sacrificing penny pincher who never gets to buy what he wants because I spend all the money. I know my role here. It's an old script. He says "Do you think I don't have things I want to buy?" I say "I want money for a retainer for a lawyer not a mink coat." He says "Why do I have to bear the financial burdens of others." I say "Congratulations Dad, you signed up for this when you had kids and married someone with kids." He says "Argghhhhh!" and rails on me for all of the flaws in my personality he can think of because he's frustrated. I say "Fine. I'm going to bed. By myself."

Today, though, it didn't get as nasty as normal, I did acknowledge that I could do a better job conserving and he did acknowledge that he has choices about what he buys or doesn't buy -- I am not the one constraining him. And in the end, after a several hour discussion during which I tried hard to focus while processing tomatoes from the garden, he gave me a hug and said how nice it was to talk about hard subjects with someone who didn't curse at him or throw pans. Or chase him with butcher knives. (I just about fell over. And oh my goodness I'm glad I haven't been where he's been.) That is the first time this argument has ever ended with anything but my storming off to bed angry. You know, I think I'll forgo the diet coke for lunch and see if I can work out a carpool arrangement to save gas money. And I still need the retainer for the lawyer, but maybe I can put up some of my several thousand books I don't read anymore on Amazon and bring back a little cash into the household. Miracles take many forms.